Old one...

Guy enters target and loiters around the entrance not really doing anything.
Me:Can I help you find something today?
Man:No that's ok. I always enter a store, wait 2 min, then go back out and check on my car, because if someone is going to steal your car they are going to do it within the first few min you enter because they know you are going to be awhile. I used to be a cop.
Me: Good to know...