#14

Dear Target Guest

This is not goodwill.  Nothing on our shelves is used.  The bike you are buying has never been ridden outside.  So please do not get upset when I refuse your request for 50% off because the tires looked dirty.

#13

Dear Target Guest

Although everything you see is red, Target is not a communist plot to get your money. If we were communist, everything would be free, and there would be longer lines. So please do not take your political frustrations out on the cashier

#12

Dear Target Guest
Free advice: Naming your daughter Universe pretty much guarantees that she will be that girl in the sixties skirt and tank top with no bra, eating tofu outside of the rainbow unicorn book store.

#11

Dear Target Guest
It is not helpful to bury your reusable bags at the end of the conveyor belt, underneath all your groceries, and then force me to re bag everything at the end because "I forgot" to save the planet one canvas bag at a time. In the future give them to me before I finish your transaction.

#10 (another old one)

Dear Target Customer:
If the card reader is not working when you press the screen, pounding on it even harder with the pen while getting frustrated is not helping anyone. Just use your finger
Love,
Angie

Old one...

Guy enters target and loiters around the entrance not really doing anything.
Me:Can I help you find something today?
Man:No that's ok. I always enter a store, wait 2 min, then go back out and check on my car, because if someone is going to steal your car they are going to do it within the first few min you enter because they know you are going to be awhile. I used to be a cop.
Me: Good to know...

#9

Dear Target Guest

You appear to be having a very serious conversation on your cell phone.  I can tell because you are talking quietly and ignoring me as I ring up your stuff.  O yeah I can also tell because your phone is on speaker and I can hear your husband talking about his most recent dr. appointment.

#8

Dear Target Guest

Pets are not allowed in the store.  Only service animals.  I am sorry, but no matter what you say, I do not believe that the two chows sitting in your cart are servicing anything but your need for companionship. Find a husband, we allow those.

Crass Ganny

During the following exchange I was either nervous laughing, or just flat out laughing hystarically

Granny (at least 80): Don't get married it's a b****

Me: Haha too late...

Ganny: Is it a b****?

Me: Not yet

Granny: Well it will be, trust me. Every time he pisses me off I go to the bank and get some f****in' spending cash out of his savings account

Me (in my head): I can not believe this ganny just said the F word!

Granny: You don't think I'm serious, but i am. Every month when his insurance money comes, I cash it. He is probably sitting at home thinking "where is that b****? Probably spending my F***ing money." he's an a**.

Me(smiling nervously): Here's your receipt, have a nice day!

#7

Dear Target Thief

As a cashier the detectors at the exit beep so often, we hardly ever look up. However, when you break into a full sprint and leap into a waiting car and speed away before the door is even closed, you can bet we will notice that. You have just brought the full weight of Target's asset protection team down upon you. We will find you.

#6

Dear Target Guest,

Clearly you are unfamiliar with the concept of a retail store. All the stuff you see around you? It's for sale, meaning you must purchase something before you use it. It is not OK to open a package of wet wipes, use one, and then declare you are not going to buy them. That is called stealing.

#5

Dear Target Guest
When you ask where the sporting goods department is and then walk away before i am finished, please do not get upset with me later that you spent 15 min wandering around in the wrong part of the store.

#4

Dear target guest
You don't seem to recognize me, but I know who you are and I am fairly certain that your mom does not know you are here buying condoms.

#3

Dear Target Guest-
I was informed that calling you customer makes you feel like all we care about is your money. That is completely false. We also care about you signing up for our credit card. Would you like to save 5% today and everyday by signing up for our target redcard?

#2

Dear target customer,

Don't think I didn't notice that you returned all your son's birthday presents, then used the store credit for a leather ottoman.

#1

Dear Target Customer:

Just because we have a conveyor belt does not mean you need to put your stuff at the beginning and walk to rest of the way while your merchandise slowly makes it's way toward me. It is OK to bring it all the way up and hand it to me if you are the only one in line.

Thank you